The end of a bad marriage

My ex husband and I divorced over 9 years ago and since then he has not seen my children. My son is 18 now and my daughter is 16 they are the most precious things I have ever created and I just can't understand why it is their father does not want to be part of their lives. I have pushed for a relationship between them for many many years to no avail. Was he a good father before you ask? Well I had thought yes at the time until one day I walked in and caught my ex punching my son so hard in the chest that it sent him barreling into a wall about 5 feet up he slid down and hit the floor unable to move or speak for his father had knocked the wind right out of him. Yes I lost it I went after my ex with a knife I did not actually cut him although I surely wanted to. He had just done the unthinkable he hurt my baby. I had to get them out of there and away from this man. I should have seen this coming he had been abusive to me for years before but I honestly never thought he would hurt my son the way he did. But he did so where to go from there I was unsure. Of course I would leave him but where would I go? Thank god for my parents who opened their home to me and my children if not for them I don't think I would have had the strength to leave. Of course my ex promised to change but just like all the other abusive men out there that promise sounded sincere only when I started to buy it but the minute I said no I won't do this anymore he became mean and viscous again. That is how they control you I see that now. Men like my ex husband never change and it is the children who suffer. I feel like this world has let us down. I had to endure months of his constant badgering and threats if I didn't go back to him. While I was staying at my parents home (they were staying in Virginia a far cry from where their home was in CT) I would wake up (after falling asleep in their very comfy jacuzzi tub) to him standing over me saying that he could kill me right now and no one would ever know! Obviously now as I say it I know that was a stupid thing for him to say since of course someone would find me but unfortunately that would have been my children. He just wanted to scare me and that he did. I endured many years of abuse at the hands of this man already and I did not want to do it anymore. I called the police on many occasions to no avail nothing was ever done I got a restraining order and a protective order to keep him away a lot of good that did he would sit outside my parents home and watch my every move. The final straw was when in the middle of the night he tampered with my van and drained the oil out so when I put my children in it in the morning to drive them to school half way there the van died and we almost crashed going off the road. The police were called and they investigated to find a wrench under where I had parked my van, Yes he left the evidence behind but again on like every other occasion they did nothing saying it was hard to prove that he did this. But guess what when they went to 'talk' to him he admitted what he had done. He was arrested on Tampering with a motor vehicle, violation of a restraining order,violation of a protective order (3 counts one for me and two for my children) and 2 counts of risk of injury to a minor. Now I know what your thinking that's a lot of felony counts finally he went to jail right...wrong the state made a deal with him they would drop ALL charges if he left the state so that is what he did. Ever since it has been a road of hell to try to collect my child support the state gave him a free pass he was gone and my children and I would struggle for the next 9 years attempting to get the child support they deserve. Just in case your wondering yes I am still fighting for my children he currently owes $60,000 in back child support the journey continues.